at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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