people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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