just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica