Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.