Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
