just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
