seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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