this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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