Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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