You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dick very happy bro
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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