she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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