I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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