Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
