So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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