I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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