So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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