And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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