my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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