Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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