I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize