Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
