i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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