I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
