I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
