Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
