break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
