Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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