he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
