I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
now i know why i became what i already was.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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