Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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