I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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