Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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