i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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