Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
