Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
