In the future we'll all be gay
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
