btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
