i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
