therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
