I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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