'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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