I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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