I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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