She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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