he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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