Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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