Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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