Me. At least after what I've been through.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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