My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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