So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
