for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Randomize
