Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
