It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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