Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
