There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize