dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
