I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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