I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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