Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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