is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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