I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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